Methais
09-11-2003, 01:01 PM
Thought this was kinda funny:
Quite a story...
Green garden grass snakes can be dangerous.
Yes, grass snakes, not rattlesnakes.
A couple in Sweetwater, Texas had a lot of potted plants, and during a
recent cold spell, the wife was bringing a lot of them indoors to protect
them from a possible freeze.
It turned out that a little green garden grass snake was hidden in one of
the plants and when it had warmed up, it slithered out and the wife saw it
go under the sofa. She let out a very loud scream.
The husband, who was taking a shower, ran out into the living room naked
to
see what the problem was.
She told him there was a snake under the sofa. He got down on the floor on
his hands and knees to look for it. About that time the family dog came
and
cold nosed him on the rear. He thought the snake had bitten him and he
fainted.
His wife thought he had a heart attack, so she called an ambulance.
The attendants rushed in and loaded him on the stretcher and started
carrying him out.
About that time the snake came out from under the sofa and one of the
Emergency Medical Technicians saw it and dropped his end of the stretcher.
That's when the man broke his leg and why he is still in the hospital.
The wife still had the problem of the snake in the house, so she called on
a
neighbor man.
He volunteered to capture the snake. He armed himself with a rolled-up
newspaper and began poking under the couch. Soon he decided it was gone
and
told the woman, who sat down on the sofa in relief.
But in relaxing, her hand dangled in between the cushion where she felt
the
snake wriggling around. She screamed and fainted, the snake rushed back
under the sofa, and the neighbor man, seeing her laying there passed out
tried to use CPR to revive her.
The neighbor's wife, who had just returned from shopping at the grocery
store, saw her husband's mouth on the woman's mouth and slammed her
husband
on the back of the head with a bag of canned goods, knocking him out and
cutting his scalp to a point where it needed stitches.
An ambulance was again called when it was determined that the injury
required hospitalization.
The noise woke the woman from her dead faint and she saw her neighbor
lying
on the floor with his wife bending over him, so she assumed he had been
bitten by the snake. She went to the kitchen, brought back a small bottle
of
whiskey, and began pouring it down the man's throat.
By now the police had arrived. They saw the unconscious man, smelled the
whiskey, and assumed that a drunken fight had occurred. They were about
to
arrest them all, when the two women tried to explain how it all happened
over a little green snake.
The ambulance arrived and took away the neighbor and his sobbing wife.
Just
then the little snake crawled out from under the couch. One of the
policemen drew his gun and fired at it. He missed the snake and hit the
leg
of the end table that was on one side of the sofa. The table fell over and
the lamp on it shattered and as the bulb broke, it started
a fire in the drapes.
The other policeman tried to beat out the flames and fell through the
window
into the yard on top of the family dog, who startled, jumped up and raced
out into the street, where an oncoming car swerved to avoid it and smashed
into the parked police car and set it on fire.
Meanwhile, the burning drapes had spread to the walls and the entire house
was blazing.
Neighbors had called the fire department and the arriving fire truck had
started raising his ladder when they were halfway down the street. The
rising ladder tore out the overhead wires and pulled out the electricity
and
disconnected telephones in a ten-square city block area.
Time passed...
Both men were discharged from the hospital. The house was rebuilt.
The police acquired a new car, and all was right with the world.
About a year later the original couple were watching TV and the weatherman
announced a cold snap for that night. The husband asked his wife if she
thought they should bring in their plants for the night.
She shot him..
Quite a story...
Green garden grass snakes can be dangerous.
Yes, grass snakes, not rattlesnakes.
A couple in Sweetwater, Texas had a lot of potted plants, and during a
recent cold spell, the wife was bringing a lot of them indoors to protect
them from a possible freeze.
It turned out that a little green garden grass snake was hidden in one of
the plants and when it had warmed up, it slithered out and the wife saw it
go under the sofa. She let out a very loud scream.
The husband, who was taking a shower, ran out into the living room naked
to
see what the problem was.
She told him there was a snake under the sofa. He got down on the floor on
his hands and knees to look for it. About that time the family dog came
and
cold nosed him on the rear. He thought the snake had bitten him and he
fainted.
His wife thought he had a heart attack, so she called an ambulance.
The attendants rushed in and loaded him on the stretcher and started
carrying him out.
About that time the snake came out from under the sofa and one of the
Emergency Medical Technicians saw it and dropped his end of the stretcher.
That's when the man broke his leg and why he is still in the hospital.
The wife still had the problem of the snake in the house, so she called on
a
neighbor man.
He volunteered to capture the snake. He armed himself with a rolled-up
newspaper and began poking under the couch. Soon he decided it was gone
and
told the woman, who sat down on the sofa in relief.
But in relaxing, her hand dangled in between the cushion where she felt
the
snake wriggling around. She screamed and fainted, the snake rushed back
under the sofa, and the neighbor man, seeing her laying there passed out
tried to use CPR to revive her.
The neighbor's wife, who had just returned from shopping at the grocery
store, saw her husband's mouth on the woman's mouth and slammed her
husband
on the back of the head with a bag of canned goods, knocking him out and
cutting his scalp to a point where it needed stitches.
An ambulance was again called when it was determined that the injury
required hospitalization.
The noise woke the woman from her dead faint and she saw her neighbor
lying
on the floor with his wife bending over him, so she assumed he had been
bitten by the snake. She went to the kitchen, brought back a small bottle
of
whiskey, and began pouring it down the man's throat.
By now the police had arrived. They saw the unconscious man, smelled the
whiskey, and assumed that a drunken fight had occurred. They were about
to
arrest them all, when the two women tried to explain how it all happened
over a little green snake.
The ambulance arrived and took away the neighbor and his sobbing wife.
Just
then the little snake crawled out from under the couch. One of the
policemen drew his gun and fired at it. He missed the snake and hit the
leg
of the end table that was on one side of the sofa. The table fell over and
the lamp on it shattered and as the bulb broke, it started
a fire in the drapes.
The other policeman tried to beat out the flames and fell through the
window
into the yard on top of the family dog, who startled, jumped up and raced
out into the street, where an oncoming car swerved to avoid it and smashed
into the parked police car and set it on fire.
Meanwhile, the burning drapes had spread to the walls and the entire house
was blazing.
Neighbors had called the fire department and the arriving fire truck had
started raising his ladder when they were halfway down the street. The
rising ladder tore out the overhead wires and pulled out the electricity
and
disconnected telephones in a ten-square city block area.
Time passed...
Both men were discharged from the hospital. The house was rebuilt.
The police acquired a new car, and all was right with the world.
About a year later the original couple were watching TV and the weatherman
announced a cold snap for that night. The husband asked his wife if she
thought they should bring in their plants for the night.
She shot him..