The Parrot and the Magician

[Nieninque]

THE PARROT & THE MAGICIAN

A magician worked on a cruise ship. The audience was different each week, so the magician did the same tricks over and over again. One problem: The captain's parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the magician did every trick. Once he understood, he started shouting in the middle of the show: "Look, it's not the same hat!"..."Look, he's hiding the flowers under the table."..."Look, He's hiding the ace of spades behind his handkerchief"

The magician was furious, but couldn't do anything. It was, after all, the captain's parrot.

Then the ship sank. The magician found himself on a piece of wood in the middle of the sea with, as fate would have it, the captains parrot. They stared at each other with hatred, but did
not utter a word. This went on for a day and then another day and then another.

Finally on the fourth day, the parrot could not hold back any longer: "OK, OK, I give up. Where's the ship?

[Eiderfleur]

LOLOL

I've heard that one before but as with most jokes I had forgotten the punchline. hehehe

[AnticorRifling]

Wow that's so reader's digest it hurts.

Alright Parrot jokes!

So this woman is passing the pet shop, and she sees a parrot in the window.

The parrot squaks, "Bitch.. Bitch.. Bitch.."

The woman turns her head for a second, slightly startled by this strange brouhaha, but then passes the store and heads off.

The next day, the same woman comes back, passes the pet store on her way to work or something, and the parrot swivels its head to look directly at her and squaks...

"Bitch, bitch, bitch..."

The woman becomes infuriated, flips off the parrot, and fumes away.

blah blah blah, same thing, next day...

"Bitch, bitch, bitch.."

So this time the woman goes inside the store, talks to the manager, and says, "You better do something about your little buddy in the window there, he's been calling me a bitch!"

So the manager, rightfully outraged by this, exclaims, "No problem, you won't have any more issues with Mr. Parrot."

...

The next day, the woman comes back and passes the pet store, where she sees the unlucky avian, sporting a wing-sling, and a pair of crutches, maybe a black eye or two.

She smirks as she passes the parrot, It not saying a thing.. but suddenly, from behind her, a loud squak...

"YOU KNOW WHAT I'M THINKING."









Okay, I can't tell jokes, I apologize.

[Czeska]

A man goes into a pet store, looking for an exotic bird, but having no idea how expensive they would be.

The owner says, "Tell ya what.. this parrot over here..I'll give him for you for half price." The man was thrilled, and took his bird home.

Upon their arrival, the man finds out why the bird was on sale. Its language rivaled a boat full of sailors.

"Gimme a f***** cracker!" the bird would say, embarrasing the man frequently in front of company.

"I'm warning you, parrot!" But the bird continued on. "Polly wanna f****** cracker!"

Finally, in desperation during a dinner party, the man shoved the parrot into the freezer. When the guests left, he ran to the kitchen to take the bird out.

The parrot gazed up at the man, shivering and said, "I'm sorry, sir. I shall never speak in such a manner again." The man smiled.

"Just one question," said the parrot.
"What the hell did the chicken do?"

:rofl: Keep them parrot jokes alive!