Think about what you are saying....

[Scott]

I just got this call from someone so this may be a whole big mess.....

As I've posted before, I use to be a drug addict. The only reason I'm here today is because of someone I dicked over offered to help me.......

Since then I've become involved in centers that work with kids who are addicted or recovering drug addicts. The main place I go is a gym where the owner (who cleaned himself up as well) allows kids to come in and work out, have fun, talks to them, etc. He helped me, so we work together in helping kids get through everything.

I just got a call from him, telling me that one of the kids that goes there had committed suicide. He left a note. The reason? Because everyone around him made him feel like less of a person because of his addiction. "Worthless druggie. Stop doing this for attention. It's not hard, you just aren't trying."

First off, for anyone who's never been addicted to drugs, it's not easy, in fact it's damn near impossible. The only thing that gets you through it is with help from others and knowing that there is a reason to get through it.

Yes, he made a mistakes and a stupid ones. He did some things he shouldn't have, and hurt everyone around him in the process. I understand that things are done where you may not want anything to do with a person, and that I understand. But PLEASE if you can't get over it, cut the person out of your life, don't treat someone who is in more trouble that you can imagine like shit.

The only way people will get through things is with help. Yes, sometimes a kick in the ass is the only way, but if you want to help someone, don't treat them like shit. This goes for anyone with a problem, drug or otherwise.

I really hope that people can realize how important family, friends, and people you don't even know can mean to someone in trouble. You will always make a difference in someones life, but it's your choice to make that a good change, or a bad change. Consider being in the other persons shoes, because in the end it could make all the difference.

Well said. I posted a while back the problem my friend had with his heroin addiction. It really is a serious problem and people addicted to drugs need all the help they can get.

- Arkans

PS: Good work on beating your addiction, Scott and even more props for helping for those around you. Good man.

[Drew2]

I won't fake sympathy for the kid, but I am very pleased that you are helping others from your experiences. I think that is one of the best things you can do. I assume it's voluntary and not your normal job, making it even more admirable.

[Souzy]

Sorry to hear about that Scott. My condolences. I take it you work closely with your children, kudos for making a difference. Sometimes these kids need to know that some people are still willing to help them.

[xtc]

Scott so sorry about the kid who died. You have know to someone with an addiction to understand what a frustrating problem it is. A friend of mine runs an addiction/social agency. He too is a recovered drug addict, some of the stories he tells me breaks my heart. As for being paid for it, it is his full time job but he gave up a lucrative law profession to do this and now he is always piss poor. However despite the heartbreaks he tells me it is the most rewarding work of his life.

[Edited on 12-3-2004 by xtc]

[Czeska]

It's a shame that child didn't have the kind of support he needed.
And I echo the sentiment that what you are doing to make a difference is very admirable. Personally, I believe everything you do in this life comes back to you threefold, so you're either making up for some nasty crap, or earning some major cosmic brownie points.

[AnticorRifling]

I don't agree. I'll leave it at that.

[Drew2]

Originally posted by AnticorRifling
I don't agree. I'll leave it at that. :yeahthat:

[Allycat]

Originally posted by Tayre

Originally posted by AnticorRifling
I don't agree. I'll leave it at that. :yeahthat:

Ditto

[DeV]

Originally posted by Scott
I really hope that people can realize how important family, friends, and people you don't even know can mean to someone in trouble. You will always make a difference in someones life, but it's your choice to make that a good change, or a bad change. Consider being in the other persons shoes, because in the end it could make all the difference. Well said. When it comes to kids and addiction it's a different story than an adult going through the same thing. We all make choices and while it's hard for me to be sympathic to anyone who has committed suicide, I admire anyone who takes time out of their life to voluntarily help kids who are in need.

[Xandalf]

While a bit different than drug addiction, I began dating a girl and started to really like her. About 2 weeks later, I come to find out she's anorexic, bulemic, cuts herself, and often takes drugs to "make herself feel better"(obviously depression)

I dived head first into helping her. Setting up meetings with on campus counselors, talking to some friends of mine who had similar problems in the past, even taking the girl to meet my friend. Granted I made some mistakes in the way I went about helping her, but I had only the best of intentions.

She resented me for it. She saw it as me "looking down" on her and condeming her. After another 2 weeks or so of us arguing, we eventually stopped seeing each other. (it would have been sooner, but I was afraid that if i stopped suddenly she would get more depressed and have more problems etc.)

So while I read all the things you are saying about help.. I just think to myself about a lesson I very recently learned the hard way:

You can't help someone who isn't ready to help themselves.

[Scott]

Originally posted by Xandalf
While a bit different than drug addiction, I began dating a girl and started to really like her. About 2 weeks later, I come to find out she's anorexic, bulemic, cuts herself, and often takes drugs to "make herself feel better"(obviously depression)

I dived head first into helping her. Setting up meetings with on campus counselors, talking to some friends of mine who had similar problems in the past, even taking the girl to meet my friend. Granted I made some mistakes in the way I went about helping her, but I had only the best of intentions.

She resented me for it. She saw it as me "looking down" on her and condeming her. After another 2 weeks or so of us arguing, we eventually stopped seeing each other. (it would have been sooner, but I was afraid that if i stopped suddenly she would get more depressed and have more problems etc.)

So while I read all the things you are saying about help.. I just think to myself about a lesson I very recently learned the hard way:

You can't help someone who isn't ready to help themselves.

You are absolutely right, you can't help people who don't want to help themselves. The only way that someone is going to pull through something is if everyone around them is trying to help and THEY WANT to do it.

Helping someone through drugs is a pretty much a thankless job. The other person may do things that piss you off and really think you are looking down on them, but it's the only way to help someone. Obviously your ex didn't want out, and there isn't a whole lot you can do, but if someone is seriously trying to break a habit, treating them like shit is not the answer.

I'm glad you tried to help her, but sorry that it didn't work out. I see kids on a daily basis that are trying to quit, and a lot will still end up on the same road as before. If there is one kid that comes out clean, it's worth it.

[Scott]

Originally posted by DarkelfVold

Originally posted by Scott
I really hope that people can realize how important family, friends, and people you don't even know can mean to someone in trouble. You will always make a difference in someones life, but it's your choice to make that a good change, or a bad change. Consider being in the other persons shoes, because in the end it could make all the difference. Well said. When it comes to kids and addiction it's a different story than an adult going through the same thing. We all make choices and while it's hard for me to be sympathic to anyone who has committed suicide, I admire anyone who takes time out of their life to voluntarily help kids who are in need.

Don't get me wrong here, I'm don't think the kid did the right thing and I don't blame everyone around him for everything. Suicide is not a way out, and he made the wrong choice. It's his fault for doing drugs, it's his fault for killing himself....

It's a little different for me because I knew the kid personally, and it's I know he was really trying to get clean. I don't think he would have done it if it hadn't had been for the people around him. I bet most of them are feeling pretty guilty right now for what they said, and they can't take it back.

Suicide isn't an option, but I wish people didn't push others into a position where they feel it's the only way out.

[Scott]

Originally posted by AnticorRifling & Tayre & Allycat
I don't agree. I'll leave it at that.

You don't agree with what?

[Caiylania]

It's rough, so many different kind of addictions, the reasons they got addicted, the length of addiction, what they are addicted to....

I've found it's true that many people must hit rock bottom before seeking help, though I wish they could be kept from having to hit.

My mother was addicted to pain killers, watching her go through what she went through I saw another side of addiction I hadn't perceived before.

Anyone trying to change for the better deserves support, I am sorry to hear what this boy went through.

[AnticorRifling]

You don't want to know, and I really don't feel like going into detail as it will ruffle feathers, hurt feelings, etc. and that's not the point of this thread. I didn't feel like causing a stir but I didn't feel like being silent so I just said I don't agree. I'd leave it at that.

[Scott]

Originally posted by AnticorRifling
You don't want to know, and I really don't feel like going into detail as it will ruffle feathers, hurt feelings, etc. and that's not the point of this thread. I didn't feel like causing a stir but I didn't feel like being silent so I just said I don't agree. I'd leave it at that.

You won't piss me off. I've been through this way too many times to get upset over what people say on the subject. I honestly want to hear what you have to say. It's not to yell or whine. I like to hear what peoples perceptions are on the subject.