Alexander the Great

I want the 3 hours of my life back. This movie hurt the brain.

- Arkans

[Caiylania]

And the previews look so good. What went wrong? Haven't seen it yet.

What's wrong? How about everything.

1. Historically inaccurate.
2. Long boring monologues based on opinions rather than fact.
3. Glazing over Alexander's earlier accomplishments in favor of long drawn out monologues.
4. Huge gaps in the story.
5. Focusing on the same fucking point for 2 1/2 hours when there was A LOT MORE TO ALEXANDER THAN HIS FUCKING GOD COMPLEX.
6. Angelina's stupid accent
7. Making the second of the two battle scenes too "artsy".
8. A prologue to the movie that did little to explain anything and painted Phillip in such a poor light that it made me sigh.

Sorry about the anger in #5. This movie had such awesome potential and they dropped the ball.

- Arkans

[CrystalTears]

This is what I've been hearing and it makes me sad.

I hadn't gone to see it yet mostly because it is 3 hours long, despite the fact that it has my favorite persons in it. I'd still like to see it though simply because it looks like an epic and I like seeing them on the big screen.

It's not a "great epic" though. They tried to make it a great epic, but they failed so badly. They tried to develope the characters so badly, but failed miserably. There is absolutely no reason to see this movie on the "big screen". There are no effects that warrant it. Think the battle against the Persian Empire would look great? You'd be wrong simply because it is way too short. Not worth it.

All in all, it is a movie filled with boring monologues that do nothing for the movie. Thanks, but no thanks.

- Arkans

[DeV]

Nice review though you gave did give Cabin Fever a good review and for that Alexander can't be that bad.
I'm going to see it this week.

[peam]

The Tomato has spoken.

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/alexander/

[Betheny]

This is why I just don't go and see big budget movies. Unless there are zombies in them. Because I could watch a movie where a zombie sits there and drools on himself, and I would be happy.

[DeV]

It sucks that this movie had to be big budget. Movies like this should be low budget and as historically accurate as possible. I'm going to turture myself and see it anyway. At least I know what I'm getting into.

didn't another movie like this suck badly..
i think it was troy..

[Avei]

My Boyfriend liked the movie. I thought it was stupid. I definately agree with Arkans.. Minus Angelina.. while her accent was a little so-so.. she did look damn sexy! But.. why is it that she never aged?

[Makkah]

Just curious... how did they pull off the whole Oracle at Siwah thing? From what I've read, he went to the prophet of Zeus-Aten or whatever and noone knows what they told him, but afterwards, he was pretty confident of his destiny.

rht

[Czeska]

I was going to go see this until I realized it was Oliver Stone. I said, "So that means 3 hours of ugh." Then I checked and i was wrong... it's apparently 2 hours and 56 minutes of ugh.

[Jenisi]

Troy was a C at best... This movie looks good in the previews, but I don't think i'd be able to sit through it in the cinema. Just gonna wait for the DVD since I have unlimited blockbuster rentals heh.

[KymberlynX]

I wanted to see it on the big screen but being a new mommy means there are limitations to the movies I can go see. Since the reviews are less than favorable, I guess this is one movie that can wait for video.

Troy was okay. I wanted to see it on the big screen so bad that I went the day before I was going to the hospital to have Jordyn and braved sitting thru the whole thing in my ninth month of pregnancy. I thought it was well worth it....especially since I got to see Brad Pitt in all his birthday suited glory a few times. :drool:

But seriously...the movie itself wasn't bad at all.

[kheldarin]

I thought Troy was awesome, saw it twice.

So maybe I will like Alexander?

If you like Troy that does not mean you will like Alexander. The only thing they have in common is that they mention the Trojan War in Alexander and they are both in the past. That's about it.

Angelina did age, but VERY slightly towards the end, but it could have just been me falling asleep.

Cabin Fever still is and always will be a fucking awesome movie.

- Arkans

[RiverRat]

Heh. Sounds like you're using my movie rating system:

Level 1. Worth paying to see multiple times in the theater.

Level 2. Worth paying to see once in the theater.

Level 3. Worth paying to rent.

Level 4. Worth watching if it comes on T.V.

Level 5. Worth jamming a spoon in your ear to attempt to make yourself smarter for having watched it.



That said, I'm pretty easy on most films, very few ever get a level 5 (The Crow 2). I had originally planned on going to see Alexander, but after reading some reviews which were universally bad across the board, I've since opted to wait for video. If only because I knew I was going to have a hell of hard time getting passed the ridiculous hair on Colin's head.

Troy....was decent. It made Level 2 on my rating skill. I didn't go in expecting a history lesson, just a usual Hollywood attempt at such (as a history grad student, I usually notice things pretty quick).

Cabin Fever....not bad. I don't pay often to go see horror/gross out films, but I do rent them from time to time. I'd have given it a Level 2 as well.

And I'll end on that.

[Insodus]

Wow, stupid...fuckin...movie.

A word of advice to anyone thinking of seeing it, DONT. And if you have to, bring a significant other and sit in the back row like I did.

[4a6c1]

Watching three hours of men in leather miniskirts was niiice.

Angelina Jolie is the hottest woman alive but everytime she opened her mouth I wanted to sing LALALA at the top of my lungs just so I didnt have to hear her speak. Wtf accent was she going for? Vedic Russian with an Americanized Islamic twist??!! :weird:

Also, the film was historically inaccurate. I know...duh, but that always irks me.

Overall I liked it, if for no other reason than Epic films in general kick ASS.

[Stunseed]

< Angelina Jolie is the hottest woman alive but everytime she opened her mouth I wanted to sing LALALA at the top of my lungs just so I didnt have to hear her speak. >

Once again, a "mute" performer. Like Jessica Simpson, Lindsay Lohan, etc....You watch it for one reason. The sound isn't that reason.

[CrystalTears]

I'm really, really, really insulted that you put Angelina Jolie in the same league as Jessica Simpson. Not the same ballpark, not even the same damned sport.

I haven't seen the movie, but then I don't blame the actors for the accents they use in movies. The director agrees with it or asks for it, so if she was using a fucked up rendition of an accent, it probably wasn't entirely her idea.

I don't like accents in movies unless, 1) the actor is using their own natural accent or 2) it's detrimental to the story. Otherwise most movies don't need forced accents. Why is it that all "epics" are done with an accent? Why on Earth was Troy done in a British accent? Romans! Hello!

Either speak in a regular voice or don't bother. Putting in an accent as though it will make the dialogue better is a false assumption. Then again I feel that way about people who use accents with their GS characters, but that's a rant of a different color.

[Latrinsorm]

Furriners all speak the same way, CT, duh. That's why people will speak Spanish to Japanese people if they don't speak English.

I agree that Angelina and Jessica aren't really comparable. You're right, Jessica is much better. :smilegrin:

[CrystalTears]

I think my point was missed, but that's okay. It usually is. :P


Jessica is much better.
:fu:

[Stunseed]

< Either speak in a regular voice or don't bother. >

Hence, the "mute" is applied. Just WATCHING her talk is good enough for me. :yes:

[Chelle]

Jessica Simpson looks like a warty 80 year old bag lady compared to Angelina Jolie.

Additionally, I consider myself a straight woman, (although Tayre's test says I'm 56% gay) she's one woman I'd consider doing! whoohoo!

:hitit:

[Edited on 12-5-2004 by Chelle]

[Stunseed]

Lemme get this out real quick.....I was in no way, shape or form trying to compare those two women. Jolie by far is a higher level of woman, however, like CT said the accent killed it. So, in this particular case, she is better as a "mute" performer.

[Drew2]

/prep 312
/cast thread


Anyway. Just saw this movie for the first time the other night.


YOU GUYS FAILED TO MENTION THE HOT MAN LOVING THAT TAKES PLACE IN THIS MOVIE. WHAT THE FUCK. I WOULD HAVE SEEN IT IMMEDIATLY HAD I KNOWN THIS.

Not only did I get to see Colin Farrel make lovey eyes to another man (and eventually kiss one), BUT I SAW HIS PENIS OMG OMG OM GASKJ;ALKJS;GLAKJSFG ALSKJ;.

There's something awesome and forbidden about movie star penis. It's a beautiful thing.

Anyway, the movie was LOOONNGGG but the homoerotic undercurrent was well worth it. Who would have known that everyone born BC was gay!?!?!!?!?!

[crazymage]

i was just tellin my roommate how i was so pissed they made one of the greatest rulers EVER a closet homosexual. Leave it to oliver stone...

Umm... Sergey, this was common practice back in that era, the relationship was actually accurate (though they spent to much time on it), and he wasn't gay.

- Arkans

[Jenisi]

Staring at his hot body was very nice... and pretty much the only good thing about the movie. I waited for it to be on dvd like I said... saw it like 2 or 3 nights ago and just wanted it to end.

[Jenisi]

P.S. Seeing two men kiss is hot.

[Ravenstorm]

Originally posted by Tayre
Anyway, the movie was LOOONNGGG but the homoerotic undercurrent was well worth it. Who would have known that everyone born BC was gay!?!?!!?!?!

Not everyone, no Tayre. :rolleyes: But some, him included. Whatever label people want to give it. Look up the 'Sacred Band of Thebes' for an interesting read.

Raven

[The Cat In The Hat]

I still havn't made it through the movie, I rented it (7 day rental) and tried to watch it every night. I constantly fell asleep. Big dissapointment. :(

Jared Leto was hot though.

[Andreal]

Originally posted by CrystalTears
Why on Earth was Troy done in a British accent? Romans! Hello!

coughGreekscough

[Brattt8525]

>>Not only did I get to see Colin Farrel make lovey eyes to another man (and eventually kiss one), BUT I SAW HIS PENIS OMG OMG OM GASKJ;ALKJS;GLAKJSFG ALSKJ;.<<<

That was not his pee pee.....damnit they have penis doubles damnit!

[Chelle]

Originally posted by Brattt8525
>>Not only did I get to see Colin Farrel make lovey eyes to another man (and eventually kiss one), BUT I SAW HIS PENIS OMG OMG OM GASKJ;ALKJS;GLAKJSFG ALSKJ;.<<<

That was not his pee pee.....damnit they have penis doubles damnit!

A peepee imposter!? Damn, I was actually thinking of seeing this movie for a whole minute and you had to go and burst my hopes and dreams, Brattt!

[Shari]

So off topic, but wouldn't they have spoken Latin at that point in time?

And homosexuality was pretty common back then. Most often Romans would own slaves and woud pretty much do whatever the hell they wanted with them. One of those history channels sometimes airs a show talking about the centuries of sexuality and they go as far back as Roman times. It was even going on during the Renaissance times, what with women not being able to be actors and such. You should look into it, interesting show.

[Artha]

Alexander the Great was greek.

[StrayRogue]

The greeks were also into homosexual activities including orgies and rituals.

[CrystalTears]

Originally posted by Brattt8525
>>Not only did I get to see Colin Farrel make lovey eyes to another man (and eventually kiss one), BUT I SAW HIS PENIS OMG OMG OM GASKJ;ALKJS;GLAKJSFG ALSKJ;.<<<

That was not his pee pee.....damnit they have penis doubles damnit!

Nope. That was him. People had been making a big deal (heh, pun intended) about him being in the nude. No pee pee doubles here.

By the way, I was really disappointed with this movie. Funny how we just finished seeing this the other day, and it was the longest, most boring, pathetic movie of my life. They made Alexander such a little pussy and it was so dull that even Angelina didn't rescue it for me. And what accent was she using? She was good, but at least keep it consistant with everyone else. Christ.

And whomever quoted me and coughed greeks, they were still fighting romans. Either way, they need to let go of the idea that epic movies need to be done in British accents. Just let people talk normally.

God this movie was bad. The only reason I sat through it was because Angelina and Colin are hot. Nothing more.

[Andreal]

Originally posted by CrystalTears
And whomever quoted me and coughed greeks, they were still fighting romans.

They were fighting Trojans, not Romans. This was before Rome was anything more then a city, if it existed yet, and the little map at the beginning of the movie doesn't show them going to the Italian Peninsula.

And yes, Alexander was a terrible movie. Anyone want to buy the directors cut I bought for 3.50?

[Latrinsorm]

312 is an attack spell now. You mean 318.

Cabin Fever still rocks, and Jessica Simpson is still hotter than Angelina in everything but Tomb Raider previews.

[soenchanting]

Alexander was historically inaccurate in some ways but it didn't suck anywhere near as much as Troy IMO which barely bothered even dealing with the original story at all. That said, yep Alexander was boring and the battle scenes were crap. And Angelina's accent was driving me crazy too, I have no clue what it was supposed to be.
Oh and as for Alexander being gay...I was actually amused they downplayed it so much. Bagaos, his Persian slave boy, shared his bed for most of his campaign. It was perfectly normal and considered natural for men at the time. Women were duty and men were pleasure.

[CrystalTears]

Originally posted by Latrinsorm
Cabin Fever still rocks, and Jessica Simpson is still hotter than Angelina in everything but Tomb Raider previews.

You say that just to hurt me now. :cry:

[Gridlock]

I agree that movie fucking sucks. Nothing aginst gays but i dont wanna watch three hours of TV thanks.
Troy was awesome btw its a movie not a book its impossible to make a movie just like a book.
Personaly i hate movies that are like books wtf do i wanna watch something i already read and happens just like what i read .
Speak Latin wth how many people wanna watcha buncha homos struggle threw usen latin in a shitty movie.

Itsa movie not a documentary film get over it not following history.

[Edited on 8-12-2005 by Gridlock]

[Edited on 8-12-2005 by Gridlock]

[Edited on 12-8-05 by Miss X]

[Latrinsorm]

Originally posted by CrystalTears
You say that just to hurt me now. :cry: When I said Breakin' 2 was better than Godfather, that was just to mess with you. But Jessica Simpson is seriously hotter than Angelina Jolie. I used to think "whoa, Angelina Jolie = MEGAHOT" but then I was like "whoa, Hackers. NOT HOT." and like almost every other time I saw her.

CONVERSELY, Jessica Simpson is usually quite attractive. If she can stay away from hokie Southern accents, she'll be alright.

[Skirmisher]

Originally posted by Latrinsorm

Cabin Fever still rocks, and Jessica Simpson is still hotter than Angelina in everything but Tomb Raider previews.

OMG but you are so horribly wrong it must be physically painful.

[Latrinsorm]

Did I mention how hot Avril Lavigne is recently?

[Back]

You wouldn’t bounce that?

[Andreal]

I'm sorry, I'm a little bit of history nut.. To all you wondering why they didn't speak latin but had accents.. Well, They wouldn't speak Latin anyways, they'd speak an ancient dialect of greek. Latin came from an area of the italian peninsula known as Latinum (Where Rome is located) At the time of Alexander the Great (356-323 BC), the Roman Republic still didn't control the Italian Peninsula, they were fighting the Samnites. Take it into consideration that Caesar's Civil War was in 49 BC, and it was Rome that spread the Latin Language.

In short, Rome was nothing back then. They were barely even on the map to the Macedonians, although Rome is mentioned in the movie.

To make a long story short.. Whatever.

[crazymage]

he even spoke at the end how he didnt want his buddy to die so they could fight the fierce roman tribes who were great warriors.

[Shari]

Well, that makes sense, Andreal.

Ancient history facinates me. There is so much to it and I try to learn as much as I can. My main focus lately has been Egyptian art, and wholy shit was the Metropolitan Art Museum in NYC ever a rewarding place to visit.

Anyway, back to your regular programming..

[Back]

Originally posted by Jesae
Well, that makes sense, Andreal.

Ancient history facinates me. There is so much to it and I try to learn as much as I can. My main focus lately has been Egyptian art, and wholy shit was the Metropolitan Art Museum in NYC ever a rewarding place to visit.

Anyway, back to your regular programming..

Oh hell yes. They have an awesome Egyptian display. More people should see it.

They have weddings in that big atrium too. Yeah, with the big statues and fountain. If the price is right.

[Drew2]

Originally posted by crazymage
he even spoke at the end how he didnt want his buddy to die so they could fight the fierce roman tribes who were great warriors.

Um, Ephistian was his love. Not his "buddy".